Happiness Isn’t Everything

Tanjin sat with Adviser Kujat on a large rock at the edge of the swimming hole. "I’m having trouble with my studies," he began.

"Oh?" Kujat said as he absentmindedly poked at the rock with a stick. Contrary to official doctrine, the Adviser had hiked up his official robe and tied it in a knot to help him stay cool in the summer heat. Tanjin was surprised to find that he wasn’t so surprised at the sight.

"I don’t seem to be advancing with the rest of the students." he continued.

"How so?"

"Well, I’m doing fine in Metaphysics and Internal Politics. It’s Healing the Heart I’m having trouble with. I understand the theory, I’m just not getting the kinds of results the other students are."

"What do you mean?"

"As they untie their knots they become more happy – happy more of the time. They find the treasures they’re looking for in the muck and move on, as we’re taught: ‘Letting go of our habitual coping mechanisms allows us to become more happy, healthy and whole.’"

"Yes, i know the litany. So what’s the problem?"

"The more I untie my knots, the more I find to feel. The more I dig through the muck the more muck I find to dig through. If anything, I’m getting further away from happiness."

"And that’s a problem?" He continued tracing random designs on the rock with the stick.

"Yes. I feel like I’m getting worse, not better. I’m starting to feel like I’m drowning in a fetid swamp of emotions. It’s hard for me to know where solid ground is anymore. I’m afraid I’m falling apart. And not in the good way."

"Listen," said Kujat as he tossed the stick into the water. "Being happy is easy. Being everything is a bit more challenging." He stood up and began to stretch.

It was a while before Tanjin could think of anything to say.

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